Morag Barrett

Let’s be honest: working with other people can sometimes feel like running a three-legged race with someone who’s going in a completely different direction. But here’s the thing—strong relationships at work are key to success, whether you’re fresh out of college or a seasoned pro who’s seen it all. So, how do you keep those relationships solid, especially when you’re not exactly seeing eye to eye? I’ve got three tips that will help keep your professional connections intact—even when you don’t agree on everything.

Communicate Openly and Honestly (Without Being a Robot)

Open and honest communication is the backbone of any strong relationship. But here’s the catch—it’s not about turning into a feedback machine spitting out “constructive criticism” 24/7. Instead, it’s about being open to receiving feedback yourself (yes, even the kind that makes you cringe), and being thoughtful when it’s your turn to give it. Also, let’s be real: no one is a mind reader, so share your goals and expectations. When both sides know where the other is coming from, it becomes a lot easier to build a genuine, trusting working relationship—even when you disagree on something.

Respect Each Other's Time and Space (AKA Don’t Be That Person)

We’ve all had that co-worker who interrupts just when you’re finally in the flow. Respecting each other’s time and space is huge when it comes to maintaining solid work relationships. It’s like an unspoken agreement: “I’ll respect your time if you respect mine.” That means being mindful of personal space (no need to hover over someone’s desk like a hawk) and knowing when to leave people alone so they can actually get work done. Bonus points for respecting each other’s boundaries—it’s one of the most underrated, yet essential, components of a healthy work dynamic.

Be Willing to Compromise (But Don’t Be a Doormat)

Here’s the kicker: you don’t have to agree on everything (in fact, it’s probably better that you don’t), but you do need to be able to compromise. Think of it as finding that sweet spot between “my way or the highway” and “I’ll just go along with whatever.” Compromise doesn’t mean giving up your ideas—it means being flexible enough to find common ground. When you show you’re willing to work together, even if it means meeting in the middle, you prove that you’re a team player. And guess what? That’s the stuff that builds trust, respect, and—ultimately—strong professional relationships.

Wrap-Up: You’ve Got This!

So, there you have it—three tips to help you keep your work relationships strong, even when you don’t see eye to eye. Communicate openly (with a dose of empathy), respect each other’s time and space (seriously, it’s not that hard), and be willing to compromise (but stand your ground when it matters). Do that, and you’ll be well on your way to maintaining great working relationships—even with the people who drive you a little nuts sometimes.

Now, I’d love to hear from you! How do you navigate tricky work relationships? Got any tips or stories to share? Drop a comment or let’s connect on LinkedIn.

Are you leading beyond your authority? If not, it’s time to start.

In today’s complex, dotted-line organizational jungle, getting things done often requires you to influence people who don’t report to you—and might not even know you exist. The challenge? Doing this without pulling out the “Because I said so” card. Spoiler alert: It’s a tough sell if you confuse leadership with authority. (Hint: They’re not the same.)

Despite what your basic leadership training might have told you, guiding people outside your official realm is not just possible; it’s essential. But first, you need to understand what leadership really is and how it shows up to those who are watching you (yes, they’re watching).

Leadership vs. Authority: Who’s the Boss?

Let’s clear something up: authority and leadership are two different animals. Authority says, “Do this because I have the power.” Leadership says, “Let’s achieve this together because it’s worth it.”

Authority may get compliance, but leadership gets commitment. It turns out that people do their best work when they’re inspired, not when they’re forced. They crave purpose, satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment—not just another line item in their job description. When people feel valued, they’re more likely to be engaged. And that’s where the magic happens.

Leadership inspires; authority obligates. Sure, authority lets you direct, decide, and delegate, but leadership? Leadership sets the vision and makes people want to reach it. This is done through influence—pure and simple. When people are positively influenced, they follow willingly. And that, my friends, is the essence of true leadership.

Influence: The Secret Sauce of Leadership

Leadership success hinges on your ability to influence others. Period. It's about making people want to follow you, not because they have to. Following a leader is a choice, and it’s one that’s earned through trust, respect, and shared purpose. If you think you can mandate it, you’re in for a rude awakening.

As Liz Wiseman brilliantly explains in Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter. Wiseman notes, "The best leaders are those who use their intelligence to amplify the capabilities of the people around them." In other words, leaders who focus on empowering and influencing others create an environment where everyone thrives. And let’s face it—people naturally resist when they feel controlled, but they excel when they feel supported and inspired. She’s right—human behavior drives everything, and people naturally resist when they feel controlled.

Even though almost everyone has the potential to influence and lead in some way, many leaders fall back into the trap of relying on their authority. Big mistake. Research shows that authority alone doesn’t guarantee effective leadership. Just look around—you don’t have to search far to find examples of powerful positions that produced some of the poorest leadership outcomes.

Why Influence Matters

Your ability to influence people is what will determine your success in leading those who don’t directly report to you. In future posts, I’ll share strategies on how to expand your sphere of influence and take your leadership to the next level.

But for now, let’s consider a practical framework to help you lead beyond your authority effectively:

Look Up, Show Up, Step Up

• Look Up: Recognize the importance of relationships and credibility. Understand the broader landscape of your organization and identify where your influence is most needed.

• Show Up: Be present and intentional in your interactions. Build trust by showing genuine interest in others and demonstrating reliability. When you show up consistently, people start to see you as a dependable leader, regardless of your official title.

• Step Up: Take initiative to strengthen relationships, even beyond your immediate circle. Position yourself as a credible leader by consistently delivering on your commitments. Stepping up means being proactive in offering solutions and being the first to volunteer when challenges arise.

By following this framework, you can build stronger relationships, expand your influence, and establish yourself as a leader who inspires others to follow willingly.

So, what about you? Are you leading beyond your authority? I’d love to hear from you. Let’s chat!

Having friends at work doesn’t just make your day more enjoyable—it’s also a powerful driver of productivity, engagement, and commitment. It turns out that meaningful workplace connections can significantly enhance our professional lives, not just emotionally but also in terms of performance.

In You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How to Show Up as One!), we explore how workplace friendships are among the strongest predictors of productivity. The research shows that when we feel connected to our colleagues, we’re more likely to make better decisions, stay engaged in our tasks, and remain committed to our goals.

Yet, despite these benefits, building friendships at work isn’t always straightforward. Organizational hierarchies and the perception of ulterior motives can make forming these relationships feel like a balancing act. However, these work-place connections are vital to our psychological and physical well-being. Simply put, we can’t perform at our best unless we feel connected to others.

Three Types of Friendships

The philosopher Aristotle identified three types of friendships, each serving different purposes:

1. Friendships based on utility: These are relationships formed out of mutual benefit.
2. Friendships based on pleasure: Here, mutual enjoyment and emotional rapport are at the core.
3. Friendships based on the good: These are deeper connections, rooted in shared goals and values, combining elements of both utility and pleasure.

In the workplace, these types of friendships often overlap. The culture of your organization likely has unspoken rules about the appropriate boundaries and depths of these relationships. But when nurtured correctly, even friendships of utility can evolve into something more meaningful and mutually beneficial.

The Golden Rule of Friendship

Drawing from the insights in You, Me, We, if you want people to like you, make them feel good about themselves. This principle is fundamental in cultivating any relationship, whether it’s personal or professional.

When you focus on making others feel valued and understood, they’re more likely to reciprocate and engage with you positively. This seems simple, but our own egos often get in the way. We’re naturally inclined to seek validation and attention for ourselves. 

Our research shows that the old adage, "prioritize the other person’s needs and feelings over your own desire to impress," might actually do more harm than good. This mindset can lead to saying 'yes' when we should say 'no,' people-pleasing, and ultimately doing what others want at our own expense. Instead, the true key to building strong relationships is to prioritize the other person’s needs and feelings alongside your own. It's the AND of life—how can I help you be successful while also ensuring my own success?

This approach shifts us away from the outdated win-lose, scarcity mindset and towards a philosophy of abundance and generosity. It’s about focusing on how we can be better together, creating outcomes where both parties benefit. Whether it's sharing the credit for a successful project or collaborating to overcome a challenge, embracing this balanced perspective strengthens relationships and builds a more supportive and productive work environment.

Connection & Compassion: Friends and Self-Disclosure

For two people to deeply connect, it’s essential to move beyond surface-level interactions. As we discuss in Cultivate. The Power of Winning Relationships, relationships thrive on shared experiences and honest communication. The concept of self-disclosure—gradually sharing more personal details as trust builds—is crucial for deepening any relationship.

However, in a competitive work environment, this can feel risky. To navigate this, consider these practical steps:

1. Start on a positive note: Lay a foundation of positive interactions before sharing more sensitive information.
2. Don’t rush the process: Build trust gradually by sharing incrementally.
3. Keep interactions positive: Balance any negative discussions with positive ones to avoid turning conversations into gripe sessions.
4. Look for similarities: Find common interests that can serve as a basis for connection.
5. Open up to non-work topics: Discussing non-work-related subjects can strengthen bonds.
6. Evaluate the friendship together: Regularly check in with your colleague about your relationship and any boundaries that might need attention.

Look Up, Show Up, Step Up

To truly cultivate meaningful friendships at work, follow the "Look Up, Show Up, Step Up" framework from You, Me, We:

• Look Up: Be aware of those around you. Notice who might need a friend or ally at work and extend an offer of support.
• Show Up: Be present and engaged in your interactions. Demonstrate that you value the relationship and are willing to invest time and energy into it.
• Step Up: Take action to deepen the relationship. This might mean initiating more meaningful conversations, offering help when it’s needed, or simply being there for your colleague in times of stress.

Friendships at work aren’t just a nice-to-have; they’re a must-have for a fulfilling and successful career. If you’re looking to deepen your workplace friendships, try these suggestions and watch how your professional life transforms.

As a leader, when adversity knocks, do you open the door with a frown, or greet it with a grin? [link to your posts on adversity or resilience]

Navigating through crises not only puts your leadership to the test but actually shapes it. How you respond to these moments speaks volumes about your effectiveness. Sure, some challenges are tough—no joke there—but often the bigger issue is how leaders handle them. Remember, the school of hard knocks doesn't offer diplomas in adversity management!

However, don't fret! Leaders can absolutely master the art of bouncing back with a few strategic moves. It’s about turning setbacks into setups for future success.

From Setback to Success

Overcoming adversity is not just about bouncing back; it's about turning challenges into opportunities for growth. Here's how you can pivot from setback to success using strategies inspired by real-world resilience:

1. Build Core Strengths: Just like in physical fitness, preparing for business challenges means strengthening core competencies. Regularly assess and develop your team's skills to ensure they're robust enough to handle crises.

2. Manage Momentum: Recognize when projects are gaining speed and might lead to overwhelm. Adjust your team's focus and resources to maintain control and prevent burnout.

3. Mitigate Risks: Pay attention to the small details that could cause significant problems. Encourage open communication where team members can identify and address potential risks before they become real issues.

By fostering a culture of preparedness, awareness, and proactive response, leaders can guide their teams through crises not just intact but stronger and more united.

Take a moment to reflect on the last big challenge you faced. How did you handle it? Did you turn your setback into a success? Let's chat more about it—I’m just an email or LinkedIn message away.

The challenge we all face is that we’re already successful. You have succeeded because of what you know, do, and how you show up. But here’s a little nugget from Dr. Marshall Goldsmith: “What got you here won’t get you there.” So, what are you unlearning? What are you relearning? What are you learning for the first time? Embrace the beginner’s mindset and keep evolving.

I’m heading to a Team Coaching workshop in London this month. Why? Because I want to expand my toolkit, learn from other participants, and soak up wisdom from professors who’ve studied team dynamics for over two decades. It’s all about keeping that learning curve sharp and steep.

I’m also on a journey to unlearn perfectionism. High standards are great, but sometimes, aiming for perfection in every detail can be more hindrance than help. I’m learning that having great standards can be enough. By easing off the pressure of dotting every “i” and crossing every “t”, I’m creating the space to focus on a few projects at a time instead of trying to tackle all projects simultaneously. This shift not only boosts productivity but also enhances the quality of my work and personal well-being.

Let’s get real. The high pace of change can be overwhelming. Alvin Toffler called it “future shock.” But rather than being shocked, let’s be prepared. Embrace learning, unlearning, and relearning as vital skills for navigating this ever-changing world. Are you investing in your learning and adaptability to embrace new roles?

How to Learn: A Pragmatic Approach

Look Up: Identifying What to Learn

Before diving into the how, it’s essential to figure out the what. What new skills do you need? What can you take from good to great? Maybe you want to learn something just for the joy of it. Here are a few questions to help you identify your learning goals:

• New Skills: What skills are emerging in your industry? How can they enhance your current role?
• Improvement: What areas of your expertise could use some polishing? What would taking this skill from good to great look like?
• Personal Growth: What have you always wanted to learn, just for the fun of it? A new language? A musical instrument?
• Unlearning: As we progress in our careers, we may need to stop doing or unlearn habits that were once successful but are now holding us back. What habits or practices do you need to unlearn to make room for new growth?

Take a moment to reflect and jot down your learning goals. This will give you a roadmap for your learning journey.

Show Up: Gaining New Knowledge, Skills, and Experience

Once you’ve identified what to learn, the next step is figuring out how to acquire this new knowledge. Here are five practical suggestions:

1. Reading: Dive into books, articles, and research papers related to your chosen topic. Whether it’s industry-specific knowledge or personal development, reading is a powerful way to learn.
2. Mentoring: Find a mentor who excels in the area you want to improve. Learning from someone else’s experience can provide invaluable insights and guidance.
3. Volunteering: Offer your time and skills to organizations that align with your learning goals. Volunteering provides hands-on experience and a chance to apply what you’ve learned in real-world scenarios.
4. Online Courses: Enroll in online courses or webinars. Platforms like Coursera, Udemy, and LinkedIn Learning offer a plethora of options to learn at your own pace.
5. Networking: Attend conferences, workshops, and meetups. Engaging with others in your field can open up new perspectives and opportunities for learning.

Step Up: Start Today

Don’t wait for things to quieten down at work before you start your learning journey, or for that one big project to wrap up. These are false summits. There is always another busy day, another project that will more than fill the space you anticipate.

Instead, be your own ally, and make the choice to start investing in yourself today. Five minutes, 15 minutes, 50 minutes of deliberate learning and growth could be the difference between staying stagnant and propelling your career forward. So, take that first step and commit to continuous learning—you’ll thank yourself later.

Remember, lifelong learning is a continuous process. By looking up to identify what to learn, showing up to gain new knowledge, and stepping up to start today, you’re setting yourself on a path to personal and professional growth.

Recently, a dear friend shared their frustration with me after being bypassed for a role, not due to a lack of skill or an impressive 20-year career, but because their social media following didn't meet the expected threshold. It was a stark reminder of the complex interplay between our digital presence and our real-world expertise in today's landscape.

Balancing Digital Presence and Authentic Relationships

In this digital age, it's undeniable that an online presence holds value, whether it's for personal branding, networking, or sharing insights. My own journey has seen moments of joy from viral content, like my "Leadership lessons from a dog owner" article that went viral in Australia, showcasing the reach and impact digital platforms can offer.

However, it's essential to navigate this digital sphere without losing sight of the profound importance of genuine, human connections. The true measure of support isn't found in likes or follows but in the depth and quality of the relationships we nurture both online and offline.

The Dual Value of Connections

The insights from our research and best-selling book "You, Me, We" highlighted a poignant reality: many feel a sense of isolation within their professional circles, with 20% of leaders sharing they had no friends at work. No one they could turn to on the good days, or as importantly, on their toughest days. Underscoring the need for both a supportive network and meaningful one-to-one connections. This dual approach enriches our professional journey, offering both the breadth of reach that digital platforms provide and the depth of personal interactions that build trust and resilience.

Integrating Digital and Personal Networks

The key is to integrate our digital endeavors with our personal connections. Embracing social media as a tool for expansion while also investing in close, supportive relationships creates a robust network. This synergy between our online influence and our offline alliances ensures we're not just visible but also genuinely supported in our endeavors.

The fabric of strong teams and successful collaborations is woven from the threads of trust and mutual support. True success and fulfillment come from the depth and quality of our relationships, not just the breadth of our digital networks. Realizing that the most impactful connections are often already within our reach, it's about nurturing those relationships and being a steadfast ally to others. Remember, it is at the intersection of our of digital reach and human connection where the secret to success lies. 

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